i hate hurting people.

i just can’t do it.

i never mean to do it.

i hate even letting my depressed side show it’s ugly self.

i hate letting someone see and just raining on their parade, or making their day worse.

no one deserves it and i see the people who cause others hurt, i wonder how they can do it, how they don’t feel wrong? i feel wrong looking at it and being able to do nothing, nothing to do but make it worse besides being a punching bag and that isn’t enough.

it’s funny, to some it is probably painfully obvious where these blogs come from, but i doubt that anyone seems them for what they are.

my life is a trigger.

and these blogs are a wound, a gunshot, the death of something even.

they are the reaction to life. they start about one thing then end up being my own personal experience and philosophy for life put into words online for the world to see.

i hurt and i’ve no idea how to handle it but i know how i do handle it, i know that in reality it makes no difference what i do when i hurt, it’s going to take it’s time and i am going to sit there, lay there, stand there and take everything it wants to give me.

and i am going to blog while it does.