i hate my life many days, i hate my art many days, i hate the idea of even being an artist many days, it’s tough.

i just want to live my life and be happy and everything around me makes it so hard, it’s already hard enough living inside my own head without pessimistic fantasy becoming reality.

it’s another fight, another mistake, another apology and another stylistic path i should have never taken. maybe that is what i should really be doing because i don’t care about anything else long enough.

maybe what i should be doing is just whatever the fuck i want like when i used to just doodle and upload it and people like it and hope that one day i’d be something.

i am constantly living out the same mistakes on repeat, i need to have a realization that this realization i am waiting for for so long just isn’t coming.

life vs. art…should stop here…i’ll live how i feel i should, draw how i feel i should draw and if it does in fact all come to an end tomorrow, i did my thing, whatever i might have felt that was at the time.