it’s february, a new month of blogs here on wordpress, this is my little home away from home, i think it’s the views that make this place a little bit safer for me to lose my sanity. and i am definitely losing my sanity…

life is (per usual) more than i can take, somewhere between art and reality i’m just not keeping it together, i just can’t seem to make my life work, i know what i’m doing wrong and i know what i’m doing right and i retain some slim hope for the future but this feeling in my gut just tells me otherwise. it tells me life can’t be this game of waiting.

it is so hard to hold on to life. it is my real toughest challenge. all this art, my relationships, my search for employment, they’re all just fragments of life, they’re all just pieces of the puzzle but the puzzle itself, living in this confusing array of a chopped up final answer to the question i live in…that’s the real killer for me, what breaks me…what keeps me edging back from life and towards…i don’t know…a different existence…if one at all…

maybe it all is a little heavy, but maybe not, looking back, i’ve felt mostly this way for a very long time, too long, is it me? is it everyone else? is it a combination of both?

what am i doing wrong?

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