i haven’t had much to say worth blogging lately but while i sit in bed sick i thought i might as well update. i spend a lot of time in my bed reflecting. about the past and friends and artistic endeavors.
today i was deleting old photos and music, like there were all these different versions of myself i am now losing connection with. not a big sense of loss though, people i won’t be missing any time soon, probably ever.
it’s just always strange to think of all the years and all the dreams and all the  relationships that came and went so fast. i guess i sometimes wish i had more direction those years but then i don’t, worrying that i might have came to different conclusions, less pleasing to myself.

i also was thinking about all the things i’ve literally lost. i haven’t seen chester brown’s louis riel and jason’s last night on earth (atleast i think that’s the name)…2 of my favourite books, 2 of the most inspiring ive ever read and i have no idea where they could be.
i guess they’ll show up when they’re ready, or something like that, just in time to inspire me again when i really need it. i think i could really use some inspiration now though, i’ve been somewhat lost again…i never draw anymore it feels like…
i mean i do, but it isn’t like…great masterpieces, great work ethic, working towards something concrete, a solid future…it’s just doodling. i think i’m starting to dislike doodling, i even have recently been considering setting my 2 albums on facebook of doodles to private, i don’t think they represent me at all anymore.

well i guess that’s it. sorry if it feels like this is coming to an abrupt end but that’s really all there is to say for the moment. i should be drawing now that i’m done my little new blog but i am sick (as i think i mentioned) so i will probably just fuck around, waiting for my sister to call…or i’ll call her…until next time.